Is your comfort zone quietly ageing you?

What I learned from facing fear, and why it matters as we age

We’re told that it’s normal to slow down as we get older. We hear messaging all around us that decline is inevitable. But what if those messages, while common, are actually harmful?

I’m passionate about sharing the message that helped me in my life - the important link between the way we move every day and how it helps us move well for life.

But I’m aware there can be so many barriers to this, particularly as we age. 

One of them, that I feel has such a bearing on our expectations of ourselves as we age, is the pervasive narrative in western society that decline is inevitable. That to protect ourselves, we should slow down. So, I decided this would be the subject of a 3 minute talk I did recently. 

I created a talk I felt was empowering and relatable. It was a 3-minute speech for a group of speakers I’d joined to improve my delivery and messaging. The support has been incredible, but it doesn’t override the fear that comes with doing something you don’t often do.

However, I had decided to ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ in order to test myself and to improve. I had notes to use as prompts if necessary, but I’d practised over and over to try and deliver it without. 

As I stood up in front of a room of nearly 40 people, after 9 other amazing speakers gave their impressive talks, my body went into full threat mode; like there was a tiger in the room and, to keep me safe, I should find the nearest tree to climb! My heart pounded and I clung to my notes like a lifeline.

I realised there wasn’t a chance I would be able to ‘remember’ my talk. So - I tried my best to deliver it, but ended up reading rather more of it than I’d hoped. I clung to my notes like the branches of the metaphorical tree my brain wanted me to climb.

I was disappointed in myself that I had to lean on my safety blanket, but now that I’ve had time to reflect, I’m also proud that I did it. I’m proud that I delivered it as well as I could and kept going to the end. 

Fight, Flight or Freeze - yes, it’s to keep you safe, but it can really get in the way!

Since then I’ve reflected on how important it is to do things like this in life. For you it may not be standing up and public speaking, but it’s amazing how many things we avoid, through even low level fear, particularly as we age. But when we start to avoid them, we allow ourselves to move more towards comfort and that can come at a high cost. 

The pull towards the so-called ‘comfort zone’ may feel like a safety blanket we want to put on as we age - seeing it as keeping us safe from injury, by ‘doing less’, but the reality is the opposite. By doing less, we’re more likely to get injured and our fears are more likely to grow, which in turn reduces our expectations of ourselves even further.

My message is too important to me to stop trying. The discomfort I experienced during the talk could have put me off trying again, but it won’t, because I won’t give up and I know this to be true because it’s exactly what my talk was about. And that’s why I’m telling you this.

That when we age, if our expectations of ourselves lower, because we listen to the narratives around us about the inevitability of decline, and we let fear build quietly in the background, our lives and how we live them, can be materially affected. 

Through my usual lens of movement, this is the case more than ever before. When the comforts and conveniences of our modern world are taking movement from us in midlife and, in fact, much earlier, it becomes even more important to choose movement every day to thrive in every way. 

As we age, the world tells us to retreat; to move less, expect less and risk less. But I’ve learned that the more we pull back, the more we lose.

Moving your body, facing your fears, pushing gently outside your comfort zone as often as you can - that’s where growth happens. That’s where confidence lives.